Sunday, August 28, 2011

My Railroad Injuries

There are plenty of ways to get hurt while working on the Railroad and after 17 years I managed to stumble on every possible way to get injured.

I was still a brand new employee with only a few weeks on duty when I suffered my first injury. I took a big swing at a spike I had not set properly and never saw it come straight back and hit me in the mouth so hard it knocked my hard-hat off. I turned around expecting to find some jerk behind who knocked my hat off but instead only found blood dripping from by lip and one tooth pushed in. It took 6 hours to get to a medic and by then it was too swollen to get stitches but on the bright side, it left a good scar.

My most common injury was smashing the ring finger on my right hand between the rail and the hammer handle. There was a specific rule against reaching across the rail to prevent that very injury but it was too much trouble to step over the rail and back so I kept breaking that rule and my poor finger. The Doctor said there is nothing to do with a broken finger, just tape it up.

I once hit my head on a rail I had loaded in the back of the gang truck only a few minutes earlier. It stopped bleeding long before it stopped hurting and that was when I started wearing my Hard Hat all day every day and never regretted it, and I never had any more head bonkers.

I always considered a sliver to be the smallest of all injuries, until I got one in my eye; twice! The first one was made of steel and the Doctor said we should let my body absorb it rather than risk going in to extract it and sure enough, a few days later it stopped hurting and I never thought about it again.

Then a year later while doing the same hand-adzing cleanup after a derailment I got another splinter in the same eye even though I was wearing safety glasses both times. I figured this one would go away like last time but when it was still hurting worse than ever over a week later I went back to that same Doctor who said this sliver was made of cedar wood and cannot be dissolved by the human body like the solid steel, so he had to perform minor surgery to relieve the pain.

My most dramatic injury was being hit by a broken "dead-head" spike that flew out from Tie-Adzer machine in Tunnel 13 back in July 1984. I had metal armored leggings for protection but somehow in the dark of the tunnel that spike found its way to my ankle and took me to the ground like a gunshot. It took less than an hour to get to a Doctor which was impressive considering how far out we were but there was nothing he could do since there was no broken bone. I was back to work in a few days but it took months to stop limping and it still hurts to this day.

By far the worst of all my many injuries was the broken back from lifting a derailed motor car. I was patrolling by myself and was in a hurry to make it to the nearest spur track to clear a train. I was stuck on the switch frog and the train was coming around the corner, any reasonable person would have walked away, but I had to give one last lift with all my effort in a panic attack aided by adrenaline and was able to clear the switch just in time. Afterward my relief was short lived as both legs started going numb from the effort.

Before that I used to laugh at guys with back injuries but after that I never laughed again. By the time it was all over and done I had two different major surgeries called laminectomies where they remove the bulging part of the spinal disk. It helped get me walking again but I will always have numb legs.

So the back injury turned out to be a career ending move, and I ended up going to school to be a computer geek. Thank goodness I work in a cube where there are fewer ways to get hurt.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Curious Case #4: The Personnel Problem

We got a call from Daryl the Dispatcher with a special request for our services at a company called Toll Free Support who made their mark by offering toll free tech support to the callers while charging the backend company either by the minute or by the call.

Last year we helped setup their two big accounts, Intel and IBM, so we already knew the people. The Intel contact was nice lady named Li Xu and the IBM contact was Radjendiramane Venkatachalapathy. We called him Radj and we called her...Li. Right off the bat Charlie took a liking to Li but seemed to resent Radj for making us type so many characters in an email address.

Intel was one of the companies that paid by the call and IBM paid by the minute. There were two databases, one for the total phone calls taken every day and another for the written reports entered by the workers. Intel didn't care about the written reports, they only looked at the phone call totals. IBM on the other hand only wanted to see nice long written reports justifying the minutes and never asked to see the phone call numbers.

The two databases came up with the same numbers every day but it was clear there was something wrong due to the large number of complaints from dropped calls and people who swore they had called before but there was no record of them in either database. It may seem primitive now but they had no reason to compare the two databases. It would be hard to do anyway because the two didn't share the same data types and it would have taken lots of work to make the simple comparison.

We spent our first day walking the main floor where all of the tiny cubes were lined up in a big "L" shape with a row of offices all along one wall where the senior Level 3 experts were still just as crowded with three people in a small office, but it was still an office. Charlie soon lost interest on the main floor and from the second day on concentrated on the offices where he easily disarmed each group as he asked how they liked the products they were supporting while offering advice on how to handle tough situations.

He also kept talking Li into taking us to lunch onsite at the Intel campus a few blocks away, which first happened when we went for training at the beginning of the contract. I didn't think the Intel cafeteria was that good but Charlie couldn't get enough.

We finally got back from lunch on the fourth day when Charlie announced he had solved the mystery. Once again he walked straight up to the problem knowing the majority of the users on the open call floor had already been eliminated it had to be the people in the offices. All he had to do was get them talking and sure enough they were so proud of their achievements they couldn't help but brag even if it meant exposing their crime.

It all started quite a while back with only two workers. Dennis was on the Intel team and several times a day he would take the time to enter a written report, but the rest of the time with the easy calls he just took the next call and kept going with no written reports. Meanwhile, several times a day Christine would get flustered and double-click her phone which would dump one caller and skip to the next and then later she would take the time to enter two reports anyway. The dropped call didn't last the required two seconds and would not register in the days totals which is why they were cancelling each other out. He had calls with no reports and she had reports with no calls.

They were both successful in their own group, Dennis taking big numbers of calls albeit without written reports and Christine was famous for such great written reports though there were no calls to go with them. Because of their success they were each given an office with two assistants who in turn each soon learned the same bad habits and before long there were six experts adding to the overall problem.

In truth all of the guilty users figured the Company knew what was going on all along. And even though the Company now knew the truth beyond a doubt the only steps they took was to have Christine's team to stop taking calls and start writing reports for Dennis and his crew. We gave a recommendation to make the two databases compatible and start including all calls in the phone report, even those lasting less than two seconds.

Afterward Charlie told me he knew the solution on the first day but it took four trips to the Intel cafeteria to finally get his fill.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Your Favorite Band Sucks

When I first heard this little piece of philosophy it seemed trivial and I laughed it off but after a while it started to sink in and the real power showed through as I realized the various subtleties of the phrase as it lingered in the back of my mind. It reminded me of one of those perfect bombs that kills all the people but doesn't destroy any houses.

Imagine an archaeologist deciphering ancient writings and they come across this quote saying that their favorite band sucks, what a slap in the face from across the eons of time. How could they know our favorite band sucks unless they had the same power of Nostradamus to predict the future.

Let's face it, sooner or later every band sucks...at some bad concert, or after their tabloid scandal or just plain human beings getting older. It is impossible to maintain that peak performance and that always makes the star appear to be burned out when it is still shining as bright as the others.

Everyone knows if you listen to a favorite song one too many times it somehow looses that special factor and then it is just another ex-favorite. This is a variation on the theme called, "Your Favorite Song Sucks". From there it is a short path to your favorite celebrity, favorite movie, favorite sport…. by golly every thing sucks if you look close enough.

The only safe thing is to have no favorite. And if you accidentally break your own rule and find yourself with a favorite for goodness sake don't tell anyone. Keep your favorites secret and then only you will know when they start to suck.

Don't let someone else tell you when your favorites are no longer yours anymore. Beat them to the punch and stop liking stuff in advance before they ever become favorite in the first place. That will solve the problem once and for all.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Spacebird and Astrowhale

Spacebird started out different from all the other birds in his flock and while they were all famous for flying high, he was always flying higher than the rest and higher still building up the resistance needed to go further and further out there even though there was no compelling reason. That is until he got there.

Astrowhale started life as a freak among freaks who could dive deeper than any of the others in his pod and they were the deepest of all the deep diving whales. After a while he could stay down longer than ever and started mapping out places no living whale had ever gone before and he had no obvious reason for going there. But then again, in the end it turns out that it is worth the trip.

After years of reaching their respective extremes these two unique individuals represented the two limits of the bandwidth of life on earth and the same dumb luck that led to their mutual existence also somehow managed to align the moon and the stars just right and the two animals achieved a geosynchronous orbit at just the right latitude and longitude to create a harmonic resonance between Spacebird, Astrowhale and the nearest satellite. Dish Network specifically half way between channel 9646 and 9647, you can Google on how to tune it in.

So eventually Astrowhale had to come up for air and even Spacebird comes down to fish once in a while so it was inevitable that they should meet in person, face to face, beak to beak so to speak, as it were. After that it was only a matter of time before they developed a symbiosis that miraculously increased the abilities of each other by virtue of their mutual pre-existing satellite hookup.

Next thing you know the internet got ahold of the data feed showing the travels of our heroes and that led to the first major discoveries of the unknown at the edges of our world. This was the turning point when folks got their first glimpse of the Trench Slugs and Plasma Plankton.

Trench slugs are 400 foot long monsters at the bottom of the ocean that won't register on visual or temperature scanning but there they are and Astrowhale just loves provoking them into casting off their supply of purified proteins. The baby slugs are the size of a school bus but only 6 inches tall due to the high pressure.

Plasma plankton is nearly invisible and uses direct heat from the sun along with the ambient friction at the outermost layers of the atmosphere to grow microscopic animals that need neither air nor water to complete photosynthesis around the smallest dust particles. No one ever bothered to look there yet let alone capture a sample. But good old Spacebird could collect them until they became visible glowing on the video feed the same way Astrowhale was able to generate light at depth by using the local ambient florescence.

Next Chapter in the Adventures of Spacebird and Astrowhale; Gamma Ray Light Worms and Sea-Floor Super Smelters.

Railroad Days: Snow Removal - Day 3

So there we were spending the night in the Spreader derailed in an avalanche waiting for rescue for the third time this week. The work train engines showed up around 4am and we all started getting ready to dig out the Spreader starting a daylight. We had some flashlights and two big flood lights but for safety reasons we decided to wait plus we wanted to eat and be ready. On the train was Hobart Kent the Division Engineer, basically number two in command below the Superintendent. Having a Big Shot like Hobie onsite made everyone stand a little taller trying to make points with the upper management.

Long before daylight we were all out there ready to start the big dig out. The spreader was off the tracks, but the wheels were not down below the rails as they would be in a regular derailment but instead this time the wheels were floating in the air a couple of feel above the rails suspended by the outstretched wings on either side. I was more than surprised to think we would have to dig out by hand. I came from the System Steel gang where we used machines not brawn, but the old timers just laughed and started in with their shovels making giant sized steps in the snow bank going up the hill faster than I could complain about it.

One thing for sure, shoveling snow sure is lighter than shoveling the track ballast. It's almost fun by comparison. And once you get shoveling in a rhythm even the coldest wind becomes a cooling breeze to keep the sweat under control until you finally find the perfect balance between blizzard and balm. Before long we were spending more time moving snow we had already moved once and even the old timers were starting to look discouraged but just then the gang from Crescent Lake showed up unexpectedly from out of no where and behind them was Larry Shadd on the D9 cat, the only piece of equipment that could move snow better than the spreader.

When asked why he hadn't called ahead to let us know he was coming, the Foreman Bob Wilbanks told Ray Smith the Roadmaster that he didn't want to get our hopes up until he knew he was going to make it through. The real reason he didn't call was because they would have told him not to come because there is a rule against letting the cat run on top of the rail through the tunnel but now the deed was done no one was going to say no. Within an hour the cat had cleared enough snow from the cut to let the spreader open it's wings again and finally land the wheels on the track again.

In the last three days we had been stuck on this hill three different times, first on the Motor Car then on the Flanger and now on the Spreader. That was more than enough and we just wanted to get back to the relative comfort of the company housing at Fields. Then just as quickly as the snow had stacked up it was suddenly shrunk by a sudden wave of warm rain that knocked out all the ice followed by calm skies and some sun to complete the effect of the storm ending. We were back home in time for dinner that night as the trains started rolling at full speed both ways. The gas was back on for all switch heaters and the electricity was back on and the generator turned back off.

It was one of those times you never forget.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Bigger Than An Elephant

Back in the late '90's I worked at a small hi-tech call center called 800 Support. They had recently changed their name from 900 Support because 900 numbers were synonymous with phone sex at that time. Changing the name didn't change the culture. We had a small budget for our Company picnic and had to settle for a Clown as our entertainment. There was lots of talk in the social committee meetings about how we could easily have a better picnic next year. The big Blow-Up slide was the clear favorite in the unofficial voting.

Then we arrived at Cook Park to find the place is full because Intel is also having their Company Picnic at the same time. We were limited to a small corner of the park with our Clown while Intel got the rest of the park for their Petting Zoo, Carnival equipment and best of all an Elephant for the kids to ride. Talk about picnic envy, we were wanting to crash that party for sure.

We kept wondering what they would do to top that picnic next year. What could they possibly get that is bigger than an Elephant? A Whale might be bigger but the kids can't ride. It's like the escalating Birthday Party for kids that go from costume themes to the famous Clown again and it can only end with a Pony to ride for entertainment. But what do you get the year after the Pony? A herd of Ponies? Clowns on Ponies? Ponies on Clowns?

The next year we couldn't even afford the cost of a full picnic so we had to settle for a Bowling trip and all the people complained that last year was better. That was when the Social Committee turned into the anti-Social Committee and we ended up with no picnic the year after that.

There was a time when we were jealous of Intel and their Elephant but then it turned into proof of their excess. We finally realized you can't live up to last year so don't even try. Now days most people are happy to go Bowling but I am still dreaming of the day we get a Dinosaur for our next Company Picnic. Nothing could be bigger than a Dino.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Railroad Days: Snow Removal – Day2

The kids woke us woke up around midnight because the power was out so I had to go outside to start up the diesel generator and found at least two more feet of fresh snow on the ground. I hated that generator because it sounds like a jet liner landing in our yard all night long but I still managed to get a couple more hours sleep before the work starts again.

Ray Smith the Roadmaster was pounding on the door at 4am reminding us to be ready by 5 as that was the end of the required 8 hours rest. Ray didn't make it up the hill on his own, there was no way to drive even the best truck through all that snow. He was following Jimmy Stokes on the Road Grader which was assigned to clear the road from Highway 58 up to Fields and back twice a day if needed for the school kids to make the bus run.

There had been a few trains overnight and they reported heavy ice building up in the tunnels and also the switch heater is out at East Abernethy. Then we got word from the Dispatcher that PGE was asking for a ride up to the pole line. We were glad to help them if it meant turning off that noisy generator so we made room for their snow cat in the Flanger. The last one to arrive was the Company switch heater expert from Eugene.

So we all crowded on board the Work Train, the 5 man gang from fields, the gas guy, the electric company fellows and the regular crew making it standing room only until we dropped off the two PGE's workers and their snow cat. The rest of us had to get off at the switch with the broken heater since the ice was so thick we couldn't proceed.

In nice weather this spot is a beautiful waterfall where you could see all the way to the Highway running along the river thousands of feet below. But now you can't see a hundred feet and it is all a big frozen mess we couldn't pass. The ice hangs off the tunnel ceiling like stalactites in a cave and we had to use the long aluminum poles with ice hook on the end to knock things loose. Without the rail heater the ice was threatening to stop all traffic but the expert got it going and things started draining again.

We made a quick run to the summit and then sat there letting a few trains run each way while we ate our lunches. All the while the temperature was falling along with the snow and the trainmen were reporting rough spots of ice and deep snow. The Work Train had to turn around on the "Y" track so the Flanger can stay in front going down hill.

Then we hit the tunnel-bridge-tunnel combination at milepost 542 where the ice had built up and the Flanger left the rails. All the Engine could do is pull the thing backwards until it hit the tunnel wall or push it forward until it banged into the bridge and finally the Engine crew was granted permission to return to Chemult to meet their relief crew out of Klamath Falls.

That's when the superintendent called for another Work Train to head up the hill with the Spreader . This was a big deal as we hadn't needed it for the last few years but this was officially bad enough to call out the heaviest piece of track equipment in the snow removal arsenal. The Spreader is a giant snow plow on the front with expansive hydraulic wings that can be adjusted to fit the contour on both sides of the tracks. The Work Train consists of two or more Engines and always included the Outfit car where workers can eat and sleep.

It takes at least three operators to move the snow, one for each wing and another for the Flanger blade in front. It takes great skill using the several levers to raise and lower, extend and retract, then set the angle to move the snow with precision and still keep the car on the rails. There had to be co-ordination between the two wings so that even if there was an empty chasm on one side you still had to extend the wing to balance the load.

Pete Gonzalez was the expert at operating the Spreader with more than 30 years on the hill. Pete called all the shots and had ultimate control of everything including the two Engines pushing from behind by using a one-of-a-kind remote control. It was the one exception when the Engineers had to let go of control, but only as long as Pete was pushing snow.

They cleared the way up to where we were stuck and actually used the Spreader wings to lift the Flanger back on the rail. The Flanger was taken down the hill and parked on the spur track at Frazier next to the tool house where we stored our motor car the day before.

Then we headed back up the hill to finish the Spreader work. Once again we made a quick preliminary run to the summit to let a few trains go through in each direction while turning the spreader on the "Y" track. It was getting near dark by now and we took advantage of the food in the outfit car. There were plenty of external lights that allowed the work to continue past sundown.

Pete had warned that the last time he saw it this bad there were avalanches in the deepest cuts and we had better make two passes rather than cut too deep and leave a gap for things to fall from above. Instead of being a warning for prevention it turned out to be a prediction of what would happen and right on queue we started spreading snow in the first big cut west of Cruzette and were immediately buried in an avalanche from above.

The Engines had plenty of power to pull themselves out of the way but they couldn't budge the spreader...they soon got permission to go back to Chemult and trade train crews leaving us there alone in the snow with the spreader. Inside the Outfit car it was nice and warm, plenty of food, even free cigarrettes.

It was getting past 9pm again and we had worked hard all day so we took time to rest as best we could while waiting for the Engines to return with fresh crews. We talked at length as to whether we should get overtime or not if we slept on the work train or in the Outfit car attached to the snowbound Spreader. The last thing we heard over radio was the electricians had the power back on and made it down the hill OK.

Next up, Railroad Days: Snow Removal - Day 3