Pieces of Fight

No two fights are ever exactly alike but they all have certain things in common. These then are the various parts and pieces necessary to carry on a decent fight. Whether it be the Worlds Nations at war or a married couple at the dinner table every fight will always contain some of these required components.

The sequence is not absolute but generally follows the usual pattern. Some contestants will always jump straight to their favorite device and stick with it to the bitter end while others think the secret is covering as many of the steps as possible. Some fights go straight to the end and some get stuck in the middle in a repeating circle. Once the gloves come off all bets are equally off along with the rules.

The understanding...
They say you only hurt the one you love and so you can only fight with someone with whom you have an understanding of some sort from which there can be an event that will lead to the fight.

The misunderstanding...
The fight begins with one party acting as the victim of some wrong to which they must respond. Even if both parties already know in advance what the other will do it still feels good to act all insulted and surprised.

The mistake…
In every argument there is always something said that is soon regretted but instead of stopping to apologize we invariably ratchet up the heat with another shot across the bow. The mistake and the misunderstanding are often the same thing.

Defending the mistake…
So we defend the mistake no matter how ridiculous and that leads us down a pitiful path on the way to the next steps on the list. Normally we would not defend such a silly mistake but that would be a normal conversation. During a fight we are required to defend any mistake, that's what makes it a fight.

Shifting the blame…
It starts with denial and then gets worse through the series of sub-distractions that make up the blame shifting category including the top two; sarcasm and insult. Admit it, you know we all do it. Telling an even bigger lie is an excellent way to change the subject.

Loud Voice…
Each person has their quiet mean voice followed by their Loud Voice. Usually that's enough because no one wants to resort to the dreaded Louder Voice which leaves no other choice but the Loudest Voice and after that there are no more weapon left in the arsenal and that means:

The Blowout…
Sooner or later one or both parties give up and move on. There needs to be a dramatic end or else it feels like there never really was a fight, so this is one of the required steps. Once the dust settles from the blowout it’s time for:

Licking wounds…
Which tastes bad so we rush to:

Reconciliation…
If there is no makeup then there will be no more fights. Most fighters would rather keep their option for another engagement down the road.

Unfortunately, having this parts list doesn't make you any better at fighting but at least it gives you a program guide so you can tell where you are if you get lost during your next fight.