The first real job that came along for Columbia Interlocking Services was at a small software company called Forest Park that had several racks of servers and one rack kept having servers burn out the motherboard. The service provider would come and replace the motherboard and then later it would happen again, sometimes on another server. It was just they kind of mystery we loved.
Charlie was coming onsite for our regular Tuesday morning consulting anyway so it was convenient to take the afternoon off to handle this new challenge. Usually we go straight to lunch and then go the customer after but this was a cold call on a hot issue and we decided we better go right away.
The traffic was light but it still took 30 minutes to complete the 4 mile trip door to door and that was enough time for us to argue over the music, best route, window position and what was for lunch. Charlie said he thinks my car has a spark plug that is misfiring but it all seems good to me.
We get to the place and find that two of the Nasties from Northwest have already been here and replaced all the power components in the server room: power strip, cables, and even had an electrician onsite to change the circuit breaker just to eliminate suspects. Then last night another server gets smoked and now this morning their CEO is ready to fire somebody.
We met their local IT leader named Harish which I made the mistake of pronouncing with two syllables when he rudely interrupts to correct me by blurting out; "Harsh!". At first I thought he was describing his personality but then I realized that was how he said his name. In spite of my recent training in international cultural sensitivity I agreed to use his pronunciation. We have a policy not to argue with clients.
First thing Charlie does is stand in back of the problem rack and check each cable starting at the bottom making sure each was plugged in all the way even though he knew they had just replaced them all. About half way up he stops and says "Here it is" in a matter of fact voice. He is holding up a network cable to everyone’s amazement when we were so sure the problem was power related, no one had looked at the network.
It turns out there had once been remote network device in this rack that required power over the Ethernet cable. This unusual setup originally required a red cable with a yellow label showing it was not a standard link. Somewhere over the years the cable was removed and eventually someone plugged a regular network cable into the powered injected jack. Amazingly the server would work for a while before failing so no one thought to blame the network cable until Charlie said he could feel the power in the cable.
Harish didn't believe it until we proved it with a power meter. It was only 5 Volts of Direct Current but enough to finally kill the machine. In hindsight it is easy to blame the service provider for replacing the motherboard without providing the root cause but these motherboards have the network adapter built-in which makes it more vulnerable and harder to debug compared to servers with a separate network adapter card.
Later on we were at the Flower Blossom restaurant filling our plates from the All You Can Eat buffet while pretending we knew how to use chopsticks. I had a better grip than Charlie but we both ended up with forks to finish our plates. That's when Charlie told me the rest of the story about how he fell off the power line pole after accidentally connecting himself to the wrong two wires. It smoked both his gloves then burned all the hair off the top of his head and it never did grow back. But it did leave him with the uncanny ability to feel electricity.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Curious Case # 0 : The Prolog Problem
I met Charlie Pressley at my first hi-tech job after finishing Trade School in '91. He was that old guy from the Phone Department and I was that new guy in the newly formed Network group of the also new Computer department. The rules required technicians work in teams of two so we ended up working together since he was in a department by himself and tradition held that the newest guy in our group had to work with Charlie.
Back in the old days Charlie was the Department lead with people working under him and a big budget to spend money managing five hundred phones and faxes but now all the money was going to the new Network project. Suddenly phones had lost all their all their budget and importance. Charlie ended up working with me as his reluctant helper on loan from another group.
The other teams called us Katz and Pressley but managed to make it sound disrespectful and they made sure we got all the worst jobs. We were working at a mid-size hardware company that was moving from a product line of dialup modems to network adapter cards. Charlie and I spent most of our time pulling cables and punching down connectors in a constant flurry of office moves and cube relocations as the company grew. Occasionally we got called on real issues for the computer group but it was never enough for me.
At first Charlie and I didn't have a lot of respect for each other. I thought he was a crazy old man and he thought I was a young punk. He had these super thick glasses with lots of hair coming out all around his head except in the expected places. He also had a deep voice with a slow delivery that was a little too deliberate leaving an overall bad impression. He didn't think much of me either as I liked punk music and was more interested in setting up Computer Bulletin Boards than learning about phones.
Then a funny thing happened. The more we worked together the more we gradually gained mutual respect which in turn led to our recurring success. As much as I liked taking the credit it became clear that Charlie was the root to the solution for most problems even though he could barely read and write. He was lucky more than anything. He was always stumbling into the stinkiest mess and coming out smelling like a rose.
Then we started getting more and more real jobs assigned to us and to everyone's surprise we became one of the best teams in the department . As we developed a reputation for getting things done we started getting the hardest tickets and that's when I realized just how much help Charlie could be in spite of his limitations. He always made friends with anyone we met along the way and he always told funny stories to keep things going.
There was a recurring debate regarding the correct pronunciation of his name. Charlie insisted it was just like Elvis and sounded like Presley while I kept telling him that the double "s" meant it had to rhyme with "dress" as in Pressley. He ought to know how to say his own name and it just shows how arrogant I was back then and just how little I respected him at first.
Then we started going to lunch every so often and he opened up about his personal life and his various interests such as ham radio, a collection of adding machines and even raising chickens. He brought examples of each the next day in the form of the FAA operators manual, a classic hand powered adder and one dozen fresh brown eggs.
Our lunch evolved from every so often into almost every day as we had more calls to the branch offices. Between rides in the van and meals on the road I started to learn more about how Charlie came up through the ranks over the years. One story told how he got his limp from falling off a telephone pole when he was just starting out as a young lineman and after that he ended up working in the phone switch room.
A few years later we were the top team for troubleshooting and firefighting and finally had some respect in our department. Then the world changed and they laid Charlie off. The old modems weren't selling anymore and the new network cards weren't selling yet so there was a big layoff to save money. All the various computer departments were consolidated into a single IT department and all the phone work was to be outsourced.
Charlie didn't seem to mind and was starting to enjoy his early retirement but I soon found I couldn't get anything done without his help. The first time we got in a crunch at work the boss agreed to pay Charlie one time just to help out. Then it happened again and before long we ended up calling him back to help us on a regular part time basis.
The HR folks suggested it would be easier if Charlie had a business and he asked for my help and that's how we ended up starting a small company together so we could get contract work hours with the Corporate Headquarters. Charlie and I went into business and that led to us getting work on the side with other high tech companies in our area. It was always my intention to go into semi-retirement by contracting so this gave me a chance to practice without having to actually quit yet.
We called our little company Columbia Interlocking Services. Our two main competitors were Northwest Systems Technologies and Solution Integrators Network. We called them the Nasties and the Sinners and they called us the Sissies. We often ended up working on the same jobs after the other guy failed to put out the fire or the customer wanted a second opinion.
We got the same jobs because we all got them from the same dispatcher who had once been classmates with myself and the guys running the Nasties and the Sinners. There was mutual respect among everyone when the only goal was profit and the only enemy was stupid computers.
With our new company all setup and customers waiting we were in the perfect situation to find the best and most interesting of all the challenging jobs in our area. That's how we ended up with the first of our series of unusual incidents starting with Curious Case #1: The Power Problem. That is next week's Chapter.
Back in the old days Charlie was the Department lead with people working under him and a big budget to spend money managing five hundred phones and faxes but now all the money was going to the new Network project. Suddenly phones had lost all their all their budget and importance. Charlie ended up working with me as his reluctant helper on loan from another group.
The other teams called us Katz and Pressley but managed to make it sound disrespectful and they made sure we got all the worst jobs. We were working at a mid-size hardware company that was moving from a product line of dialup modems to network adapter cards. Charlie and I spent most of our time pulling cables and punching down connectors in a constant flurry of office moves and cube relocations as the company grew. Occasionally we got called on real issues for the computer group but it was never enough for me.
At first Charlie and I didn't have a lot of respect for each other. I thought he was a crazy old man and he thought I was a young punk. He had these super thick glasses with lots of hair coming out all around his head except in the expected places. He also had a deep voice with a slow delivery that was a little too deliberate leaving an overall bad impression. He didn't think much of me either as I liked punk music and was more interested in setting up Computer Bulletin Boards than learning about phones.
Then a funny thing happened. The more we worked together the more we gradually gained mutual respect which in turn led to our recurring success. As much as I liked taking the credit it became clear that Charlie was the root to the solution for most problems even though he could barely read and write. He was lucky more than anything. He was always stumbling into the stinkiest mess and coming out smelling like a rose.
Then we started getting more and more real jobs assigned to us and to everyone's surprise we became one of the best teams in the department . As we developed a reputation for getting things done we started getting the hardest tickets and that's when I realized just how much help Charlie could be in spite of his limitations. He always made friends with anyone we met along the way and he always told funny stories to keep things going.
There was a recurring debate regarding the correct pronunciation of his name. Charlie insisted it was just like Elvis and sounded like Presley while I kept telling him that the double "s" meant it had to rhyme with "dress" as in Pressley. He ought to know how to say his own name and it just shows how arrogant I was back then and just how little I respected him at first.
Then we started going to lunch every so often and he opened up about his personal life and his various interests such as ham radio, a collection of adding machines and even raising chickens. He brought examples of each the next day in the form of the FAA operators manual, a classic hand powered adder and one dozen fresh brown eggs.
Our lunch evolved from every so often into almost every day as we had more calls to the branch offices. Between rides in the van and meals on the road I started to learn more about how Charlie came up through the ranks over the years. One story told how he got his limp from falling off a telephone pole when he was just starting out as a young lineman and after that he ended up working in the phone switch room.
A few years later we were the top team for troubleshooting and firefighting and finally had some respect in our department. Then the world changed and they laid Charlie off. The old modems weren't selling anymore and the new network cards weren't selling yet so there was a big layoff to save money. All the various computer departments were consolidated into a single IT department and all the phone work was to be outsourced.
Charlie didn't seem to mind and was starting to enjoy his early retirement but I soon found I couldn't get anything done without his help. The first time we got in a crunch at work the boss agreed to pay Charlie one time just to help out. Then it happened again and before long we ended up calling him back to help us on a regular part time basis.
The HR folks suggested it would be easier if Charlie had a business and he asked for my help and that's how we ended up starting a small company together so we could get contract work hours with the Corporate Headquarters. Charlie and I went into business and that led to us getting work on the side with other high tech companies in our area. It was always my intention to go into semi-retirement by contracting so this gave me a chance to practice without having to actually quit yet.
We called our little company Columbia Interlocking Services. Our two main competitors were Northwest Systems Technologies and Solution Integrators Network. We called them the Nasties and the Sinners and they called us the Sissies. We often ended up working on the same jobs after the other guy failed to put out the fire or the customer wanted a second opinion.
We got the same jobs because we all got them from the same dispatcher who had once been classmates with myself and the guys running the Nasties and the Sinners. There was mutual respect among everyone when the only goal was profit and the only enemy was stupid computers.
With our new company all setup and customers waiting we were in the perfect situation to find the best and most interesting of all the challenging jobs in our area. That's how we ended up with the first of our series of unusual incidents starting with Curious Case #1: The Power Problem. That is next week's Chapter.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Stupid Railroad Sayings
My favorite Stupid Railroad saying is "Keep Your Own Kitchen Clean". This is like minding your own business but even better because it implied a specific task to be completed. It wasn't all rhetorical since kitchens and the duties therein are common topics when traveling workers have to share accommodations . On the actual jobsite it usually meant to stay out of my work area and don't try to make me look bad.
The first Stupid Railroad Saying I ran into on my first day was carved into a wooden plague over the Roadmaster's office door. The writing was ironically comic text that stated "One Thousand 'Atta Boys!' can be wiped out with one 'Oh Shit!'" The plaque included an animated picture of a worker with exclamation points around his head implying he must have done an 'Oh Shit'.
Once one boss would come up with a noteworthy saying it would spread among the other gangs as did this gem, "I'm Trying To Accomplish Something Here and You're Getting In the Way". This saying was soon abbreviated into the first half only which can still imply the second half if properly delivered with a loud voice and a visual glare.
One of the famous sayings was originated when one of the guys mistakenly used the phrase "Put Attention" instead of "Pay Attention" and everyone jumped on board. After a few years even the Superintendent was known to use that translation. If you think about it, it makes more sense to put instead of pay, no one wants to pay for anything.
Some sayings were not original Railroad material but were used so often and scratched into all the tunnels and bridges so they deserve inclusion here as well. "If we were to put everyone's troubles in a pile to be divided equally, most people would be happy to keep their own". Now if it was money, that might be different. Another well used but not exactly Railroad related example, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak up and remove all doubt". You can safely write this one but if you say it out loud then you become the story.
Here is the Stupidest Railroad Saying of all, "I was looking for a job when I found this one". We think it wanted to be like that song Take This Job and Shove It, but ended up sounding more lame than lament. Another stupid habit was using the various track parts and maintenance tasks as double entendres like Beavis and Butthead might do. "Loose Nuts" ha ha…"High Spikes" he he... "Low Joints" yuk yuk… "Tampin' Ties" and on it went…
An alternate branch of the stupidity revolved around the endless safety programs. One worker offered up this addition to the Safety Rules, "If you want - to protect your back. Stay away - from the Railroad Track". He was a truck driver and did a good job of just that. If an injured worker received a monetary payoff they were said to have "Hit the Railroad Lotto!"
I hope all these stupid sayings don't land up in your brain the way they have in mine, but just remember the next time you are trying to accomplish something be sure to put attention and keep your own kitchen clean.
The first Stupid Railroad Saying I ran into on my first day was carved into a wooden plague over the Roadmaster's office door. The writing was ironically comic text that stated "One Thousand 'Atta Boys!' can be wiped out with one 'Oh Shit!'" The plaque included an animated picture of a worker with exclamation points around his head implying he must have done an 'Oh Shit'.
Once one boss would come up with a noteworthy saying it would spread among the other gangs as did this gem, "I'm Trying To Accomplish Something Here and You're Getting In the Way". This saying was soon abbreviated into the first half only which can still imply the second half if properly delivered with a loud voice and a visual glare.
One of the famous sayings was originated when one of the guys mistakenly used the phrase "Put Attention" instead of "Pay Attention" and everyone jumped on board. After a few years even the Superintendent was known to use that translation. If you think about it, it makes more sense to put instead of pay, no one wants to pay for anything.
Some sayings were not original Railroad material but were used so often and scratched into all the tunnels and bridges so they deserve inclusion here as well. "If we were to put everyone's troubles in a pile to be divided equally, most people would be happy to keep their own". Now if it was money, that might be different. Another well used but not exactly Railroad related example, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak up and remove all doubt". You can safely write this one but if you say it out loud then you become the story.
Here is the Stupidest Railroad Saying of all, "I was looking for a job when I found this one". We think it wanted to be like that song Take This Job and Shove It, but ended up sounding more lame than lament. Another stupid habit was using the various track parts and maintenance tasks as double entendres like Beavis and Butthead might do. "Loose Nuts" ha ha…"High Spikes" he he... "Low Joints" yuk yuk… "Tampin' Ties" and on it went…
An alternate branch of the stupidity revolved around the endless safety programs. One worker offered up this addition to the Safety Rules, "If you want - to protect your back. Stay away - from the Railroad Track". He was a truck driver and did a good job of just that. If an injured worker received a monetary payoff they were said to have "Hit the Railroad Lotto!"
I hope all these stupid sayings don't land up in your brain the way they have in mine, but just remember the next time you are trying to accomplish something be sure to put attention and keep your own kitchen clean.
Can't Talk Now
It's not just a joke about people who can't rub their belly and pat their head at the same time, it's true that the average person has a one track mind when it comes to talking. For some reason, talking is a whole brain process. We can multi-task at most things but It is well known that driving a car while talking on the phone is almost as debilitating as being drunk. Talking takes the whole brain because we are so busy listening for the next word while planning our next response there is no bandwidth left for any other task.
It must go back to our ancient ancestors and we are locked into full attention when we talk. But now in the modern age we can't afford to give all our attention to one thing so unfortunately, talking is the odd-man out. Sorry buddy, you gotta go.
At work I can carry on five simultaneous chat conversations with no stress and trouble with accents from different cultures and there is a written record. But I can still only do one phone call at a time. That's why meetings are so unproductive, only one person can talk at a time. If everyone stayed at their desk and chatted they would get more work done.
Having a conversation is the most intimate way to communicate and it is very good for conveying gestures and other personal feel good type interactions but it is not so good for business. Those gestures and feel-good tricks are only confusing and clutter up the workspace when clear communication is needed.
We are less likely to blurt out in writing something we might regret the way we might do in person. Like when the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz said "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking." Conversely, some people with nothing to say have done an awful lot of thinking.
That is why we are evolving into people who might prefer to write than fight. Meanwhile I will call back once I write down what I want to say, but I can't talk now, I have to think instead.
It must go back to our ancient ancestors and we are locked into full attention when we talk. But now in the modern age we can't afford to give all our attention to one thing so unfortunately, talking is the odd-man out. Sorry buddy, you gotta go.
At work I can carry on five simultaneous chat conversations with no stress and trouble with accents from different cultures and there is a written record. But I can still only do one phone call at a time. That's why meetings are so unproductive, only one person can talk at a time. If everyone stayed at their desk and chatted they would get more work done.
Having a conversation is the most intimate way to communicate and it is very good for conveying gestures and other personal feel good type interactions but it is not so good for business. Those gestures and feel-good tricks are only confusing and clutter up the workspace when clear communication is needed.
We are less likely to blurt out in writing something we might regret the way we might do in person. Like when the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz said "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking." Conversely, some people with nothing to say have done an awful lot of thinking.
That is why we are evolving into people who might prefer to write than fight. Meanwhile I will call back once I write down what I want to say, but I can't talk now, I have to think instead.
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